Preacher – S2 Ep 13 (Finale) The End of The Road

Review: Mostly worth your time.

The series really felt like it was trying to push the narrative along, but got stalled out in Louisiana. Jesse teams up with Starr. Eugene teams up with Hitler and inadvertently sets him loose upon the world. Cassidy and Tulip begin the process of leaving New Orleans. Denis’s evil ways get to Cassidy. Denis doesn’t eat or kill the dog, but he makes creepy intimations to Cassidy about doing something with Tulip. Maybe the best scene of the episode came when Cassidy pushes Denis out the window only to burn to death. That was Cassidy’s attempt at not becoming an evil vampire as opposed to the good vampire he is right now.

Tulip gets shot as she’s saying goodbye to the Grail lady whose name I never bothered to remember because her character is pretty bland. Jesse rushes back after we see him unable to use the Word on a bunch of fake terrorists. Cassidy offers to save Tulip by turning her into a vampire, and Jesse says they should just let her die.

The final scene shows them headed to the ranch / plantation that Jesse lived in with his grandmother (probably?), with a dead Tulip in tow. They’re referencing the first scene of the episode where his grandmother apparently revived a chicken after Jesse killed it in a fit of Rage.

This episode, like others, is doing a lot of setting up to get from one point to another. Again, I keep thinking about that first Preacher episode from season 1. The violence was stylized and brutal. The characters were sympathetic and complex. This season just doesn’t seem the same. The fight scenes are kind of what you’d expect, and we don’t really have any sympathetic “regular mortal” characters this season at all.

I hope next season gets off to a better start.

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Preacher – S2 Ep 12 – On Your Knees

Review: This was a “getting from point A to point B” episode. Only worth your time if you’re a completist.

Spoilers ahoy:

This episode was basically a return of the plot device that could control Jesse – the Saint of Killers. I’m pretty un-enamored with this episode as a whole. Again, the most interesting part was watching Eugene in Hell try to escape from his own Hell and stand up to the girl who killed herself and blamed Eugene for it.

The Saint of Killers made an agreement with the Grail dude from Better Off Ted, and got himself out of the lake. Jesse and Tulip almost get killed by the Saint of Killers but that lady from Hell who’s like the jailer saves them both by telling the Saint of Killers that she’ll put his wife and kid in there now that God’s gone. As a Deus ex Machina moment, it’s pretty good in that it serves to combine the two storylines together.

The fight scenes in this episode weren’t as cool or painful as in the first episode of the entire series. Remember that fight on the plane with Cassidy? Or the fight with Tulip in the corn field fighting off 3 guys? The series just lacks the punch (pun) of the first season.

At the end of the episode, Jesse talks about taking the place of the Messiah on Earth and Tulip and Cassidy are not on board with it. The Saint is back in Hell.

Watch this episode only if you’re super into seeing things through to completion.

Preacher Season 2 Episode 11 – Backdoors

Review: Worth your time more so than previous episodes, if you like moral puzzles and butt jokes.

Spoilers as usual.

Tulip and Cassidy react to Jesse lying to them about the Saint of Killers being in hell. We learn more about Jesse’s backstory. Starr tries to recruit Jesse. At the end of the episode, it appears the Saint of Killers is back. Meanwhile, in Hell, Arseface is conspiring with Hitler to get free. We learn some of Hitler’s back story.

For me, the most interesting part of this episode was watching Eugene in Hell with Hitler. They do a very good job of making (I can’t believe I’m going to write this) Hitler a sympathetic character. The Preacher version of Hitler turns out to be a struggling artist, that we see in a flashback, who was fearful and bullied and his girlfriend left him for another man and he didn’t get the last piece of plum cake. Somehow that amounts to Hitler being sympathetic in the moment. When Eugene asks Hitler why that was his worst moment in life, Hitler responds with: “That was the last time I was good.” (Or words to that effect.) The asshole bully in hell seems to me to be the Internet incarnate. And in Hitler vs Internet comments, well, I don’t want to choose sides on which I like better. Definitely not the historical Hitler, that’s for sure.

Jesse, Tulip, and Cassidy get mad at each other and Jesse runs out to find God who he’s pretty sure actually IS the pervert in the dog costume. In the process, Jesse makes his way back to Starr, and we hear his prayers. That’s where another piece of the Jesse Custer history is revealed: either before or after his death, someone who identified herself as his grandmother makes Jesse renounce his name and thank god for killing his father. Starr thinks this will break Jesse, but it just serves to piss Jesse off and the “Starr taking things up his butt” jokes continue.

I like that both characters – Hitler and Jesse – are looking for redemption (or at least that’s what they’d like us to believe in this episode). I imagine the writers are leading us down the path to sympathy for Adolph, and then they’ll reveal that he’s the evil sonofabitch that we know he is. There was already a glimmer of this in Hell when he switches from the meek to Hitler the orator and rouses his fellow Hell-mates into creating a diversion.

But the other theme that this show brings us is being absorbed and haunted by our past. I suppose that’s what redemption is all about- feeling guilty for moments of weakness, or evilness, or failure, and then wanting to make amends. And making amends or redemption – it all amounts to time travel in one sense or another. Doing something now to somehow rectify your past actions. The more I think about guilt and feeling sorry for your actions, the more I think it’s not that great of a motivation to live by. (TV- and plot-wise seeking redemption and feeling guilty are great character motivations.) Creativity and moving forward seem to produce better results than wallowing in mistakes and looking for a DeLorean to go into the past and change things for the better.

Anyway- this episode was much stronger. Definitely worth watching. The weakest part of the episode, in my opinion, is the Tulip-what’shername storyline. Tulip’s smarter than that and I don’t buy the whole thing.

 

Preacher – Season 3 Episode 10: Dirty Little Secret

Spoilers spoilers spoilers-

The introduction of the Jesus having sons storyline. The directors decided to forego making the historical part feel real and instead gave Jesus and all of the other characters a modern surfer-dude dialect. It felt different than the first season with the flashbacks for the Saint of Killers. The show, overall, is taking on more of a comedic vibe than a horror / intense vibe that the first season had.

Denis continues more down his evil vampire path. Tulip and the Grail lady are playing Rock Band and becoming better friends (meaning she’s manipulating Tulip). Herr Starr shows Jesse Humperdoo the Messiah. I’m not thrilled with that portion of the storyline. I mean I get showing the Messiah as the inbred son of 20 centuries of incest, but there was something that felt kind of like picking on the disabled for a laugh. It felt wrong not in a funny or shocking way, just in a cheap privileged kind of way.

Tulip finds the guns and the sword underneath the floorboard and the episode ends. Still not that thrilled with this season.

Oh but I do love the addition of Malcolm Barrett into the show. He was great on Better Off Ted. He doesn’t have much to do but that guy is just super charismatic, in my opinion.

Preacher – Season 2, Episode 9 : Puzzle Piece

(Spoilers ahead!)

This season had gotten bogged down so much that I stopped keeping up with it as the episodes were airing. This episode introduced a few more elements that kept it more interesting, though: The FPS – video game style scene was cool and fun. The mystery of who B.R.A.D. was was pretty good. (Although I kind of wish it was the big crazy ogre-looking dude.) Jesse’s power of The Word and using Genesis is getting very boring to me. A Deus Ex Machina is only good for like one or two uses at best. Jesse can tell Tulip to fall asleep, can tell cops to obey his orders, can have one of the crazy Grail officers kill his friends? I mean if he’s having the cops work for him in a protective capacity, why not just order all of the Grail guys to be on his side and help him find God? I’m trying to suspend my disbelief, but it’s wearing kinda thin on me.

I can’t stand New Orleans anyway. Can we move on from this city, please?

I loved the comic book series, but it’s been years since I’ve read it so I can’t remember how they kept things fresh. I do remember that it didn’t feel as stale as this does.

Blue Apron Empanadas de Picadillo as told by a guy who still doesn’t quite know how to cook.

Empanadas de Picadillo with Tomato-Cucumber Salad & Lime Crema

This was the last of my 3 meals that came in my first Blue Apron order. Although something I should say right off the bat: I made this meal probably 10 days after the box arrived. The cucumber was kinda shriveled on part of it, and I had to rummage through my fridge to figure out where I put all of the ingredients.

I think this points to a problem with Blue Apron and the guys like me: we’re bad at planning meals to the point that even if the ingredients are there and laid out for us, we’ll still be bad about making them. I swear I had to convince myself to get amped up to chop all of these veggies after work. I seriously contemplated ordering a General Tso’s Chicken combo meal from the place right here on my block. (They recognize my voice when I call in. I don’t even have to say what my name is.)

Another thing I should say before we get started is that I’m writing this a day after I cooked it. I know, I know, where’s the urgency? It went completely into watching the remaining two episodes of Stranger Things on Netflix (a fantastic homage to the two Stephens- King and Spielberg. Seriously, go watch it) and the latest episode of Preacher on AMC (Oh man, this show is so good. It’s brutal and horrific and funny).

Okay with all of that said, let’s jump into it. You can follow along here if you want.

Step 1:


This step was mostly easy with the exception of chopping the tomato. I swear I’ve done this before even though it didn’t seem like I had. Tacos were a meal my brother and I, latch-key kids, used to make when our dad was working one of his two jobs. Despite that, I sort of felt the same way about this that I did about cutting chicken. My trusty huge bread knife probably wasn’t suave enough to do this step justice, so I wound up getting a lot of tomato schmutz everywhere.

This step asks you to medium slice one half of the tomato, and small dice one half. Listen, Blue Apron, we are not people who do this regularly. You’ve gotta say things like: “Dice one half of the tomato into 1 inch squares, and the other into half-inch squares.” Give me measurements, not these ambiguous descriptors.

Scallions were easy. I tackled those bad boys in the previous meals.

Why did they ask me to leave alternating strips of cucumber intact when I chopped it up? I don’t get it. I diced it up like it told me to, but it still left me scratching my head. (I washed my hands after.) 

Okay, I really didn’t do what it told me to for creating the lime zest. I had a peeler and tried about two flimsy pieces of it, but then the description they had just totally baffled me. I looked up “how to create lime zest” on Youtube and got this video from someone named Mayet’s Kitchen. I think her method of using this grater tool is way easier than putzing around with chopping things up like a schmuck. My lime was kinda weird colored in some spots. I avoided zestifying those.  Thus there’s no way I had enough zest for two table spoons, but I got by.

My chopped up ingredients. I used lids and containers from my Chinese food take-out because I’m not fancy and don’t have those magic glass bowls.


That crema was super tasty. It was basically some form of sour cream. I’m going to add lime and salt to my sour cream every damn time now.

Step 2:


Every bachelor knows how to do this step. Well, usually I don’t add olive oil before I brown ground beef, but other than that, this was super easy.

Step 3:


This step was pretty straightforward, too. Cook for 1 to 2 minutes. (Again, don’t tell us to cook it until it’s “fragrant”. That’s super unclear.) I added the bits of veggies like they told me to.

Step 4:


Before I jump into step 4, I should say that Blue Apron thinks everyone is a speed demon when it comes to chopping things up and preparing things. They tell you to preheat the oven in step 1. No way, don’t do that. Preheat the oven in this step. I remember how rushed I was in the other meals when I started boiling things way too soon. Nope, just preheat your oven in this step and you’ll be fine.

Filling the empanadas was pretty easy. I was careful not to overstuff them. Again, if you’re a bachelor, then chances are you’ve made yourself soft tacos before. As a kid, I’d shove as much as I could into those shells and wound up eating 70 percent of the filling off of my plate. So I was pretty conscious about making a pretty looking empanada. I think they came out as they should have. Even the one that looked wonky before it went into the oven came out looking great.

Step 5:


You do exactly what it says. This is a step even I can follow.

See? Not bad, huh?
Step 6:


I combined my salad just like it said. Actually I left out the olive oil. The veggies alone were tasty enough. (Why do cooking shows and recipes like the word “drizzle” so much? “Drip” works fine. So does “put”. It’s just one of those words I hate. “Drizzle.” Yech.)

There was not nearly enough of that lime crema stuff to go around. I ate leftovers today and ad-hoc’d some greek yogurt and pickle juice. So many of you are going to scoff at this, but I’m telling you it was pretty damn good.

Okay, so here’s my end result:


Compare to theirs:


Final thoughts about Blue Apron after a week:

I still can’t get over how much packaging is involved in this. I know that you can send the stuff back to them to get it recycled, but that would mean an extra trip to the post office for me. I live in an apartment and can’t easily leave large packages like that for my mailman.

I really like their instructions despite my kind of making fun of them here. They do a good job of explaining things to people who don’t cook and I like that each meal has a corresponding web page with a few videos for things that are tricky.

I dislike having to subscribe at all to this service. If I could just perpetually put this on hold, and then select one or two meals whenever I want it, then this might work. As it is, I’m finding it difficult to do this level of cooking for one person three times a week.

The price point is a little steep, also. It’s 20 bucks per meal. I liked the meals okay, but I think I’d be willing to pay more like $15 per meal.

This would probably be way more beneficial for a cohabiting couple. Then you wouldn’t have to worry so much about planning things or getting your personal food plans derailed by dates and outings to go hang out with your friends. I’d recommend you try it. You’re probably less stingy than I am.

I think I’ll hunt down some other free meal trials and review those. There were a couple of you weirdos out there who said you actually read these things, so I’ll try to do more.